That Nancy Drew
by thenostalgicdreamer
Summary: Nancy's reflections over the years on what it means to be Nancy Drew
1. Chapter 1

It is one of her proud moments honestly holding up the white chocolate chip and telling her dad she has solved the case. It isn't her first case—not by a long shot, but she's never worked on a team before and her first try is a success.

For years, her dad had promised her that she would meet Fenton Hardy's boys. Frank and Joe were her age, and she would like them. They were good boys who liked solving cases just as much as she did. But he and Fenton were busy so that meeting didn't happen as soon as she would have wanted. Every time he came home with more stories about the mythical Joe and Frank, she only wanted to meet them more.

Last week, however, her dad had announced that the three of them were coming down from Bayport. She found it hard to contain her excitement. She had friends, yes, but not friends who understood her. They always asked why she wanted to play detective. When she tried to explain, they just didn't get it. Frank and Joe would. They doubtless knew about hearing stories that seemed too amazing to be real life and wanting to be grownups just to have a part in it all. Yes, she and Joe and Frank would get along.

They arrive, and she runs outside and stops on the front steps staring at them across the yard. It's finally happening, and she's freaking out. She wants to like them and wants them to like her so bad that she can't remember how to be the perfect little hostess.

She comes to her senses when her dad reminds her to invite them in. Everything goes well after that. The boys like Nancy's room especially her notepad, magnifying glass, gloves, and invisible ink. Frank tells her he has some at home, but Joe says those things are for babies. Frank orders him to apologize, and he does with the most sincere look in his eyes. He didn't mean it she can tell, but it doesn't stop him from snapping at Frank for being bossy. The squabble over, the three of them head downstairs for some of Hannah's cookies. Nancy is happy to say she likes them both. Frank is kind and serious, and Joe's so warm she knows he'll never feel far away.

They wander into the kitchen eager for cookies and find something even better—a case. Hannah's cookies are missing, and she needs some help. Nancy has been dreaming that something of the sort would happen, but you can't just make it happen no matter how hard you try. But she has a case, and they'll be able to solve it together as a team the way they always have in her dreams.

She rushes upstairs for her notepad Frank and Joe in tow. She's so excited that she skips steps, but she won't fall because she's Nancy Drew. Nancy Drew doesn't fall. They start, at Frank's suggestion, with a list of suspects. Joe wants to begin looking so they do. He leads the way with Frank and Nancy who are completely engrossed in her notepad following close behind. The prominent suspects are quickly cleared leaving them with minor ones—squirrelly neighbor boys—when Nancy remembers Olivia. She says something about the backyard, and it quickly turns into a foot race. Before she can figure out what to do, her foot has missed the step, and her body is flying through the air. When she lands on the grass, her ribs hurt, and her dress is up around her waist. She sees Joe's outstretched hand and twinkling eyes and hears Frank's concerned words laced with sympathy, but she pulls herself up herself. She's Nancy Drew. She doesn't need anyone's help.

The walk to the doghouse is slower now although she picks up the pace to get there first. Joe is at her side, and she's so excited to look around inside that she gives him a shove and goes in first herself. Tracing the perimeter with her hand, she finds a white chocolate chip and just like that the case is wrapped.

They walk to the house slowly, and she tells them about Olivia's antics—her beloved shitzu is not as angelic as she looks. Frank and Joe in turn tell her about Max and how he finds chocolate and runs away and scatters trash all over the floor. It's all so natural that she feels like she's known them forever.

Fenton and her dad are talking foreheads wrinkled, voices serious when they arrive. It wouldn't take a detective to know it's important conversation and that their own case talk has to wait. At last, the dads pause, and Nancy begins stopping to give Frank a chance to tell a few points. Her dad is smiling when they're done, and she feels on top of the world. But before she knows it, Joe's talking, and he has a different story to tell. The case was amazing, yes, but only until Nancy shoved him. She didn't want Olivia to hurt him she explains, and her dad buys it, but she's still maybe a little too eager to get back to playing.

They go out to her playhouse this time. The boys saw it on the case and thought it looked like fun. Joe comments to Frank about how pink it is, but neither of them really minds. She goes over to her desk and takes out a sheet of paper. They're going into partnership and starting a new firm called Hardy-Drew Investigators. They may not be together much, but they'll work together in spirit at the River Heights branch and the Bayport one. It's just play but when they all sign the contract she could swear it feels legally binding. This is forever.

They finish in the playhouse and head out to the trampoline. The boys have one at home, so it's the most fun Nancy's ever had with it. Joe can do these backflips she'd never attempt, but oh do they look fun. Frank takes her hands and tells her to jump. She flies into the air on her next leap and a smile stretches across her face. He takes a leap, and then she does, and he does, and she does. They finally stop when Fenton comes and says it's time to go.

She's not across the yard when she waves goodbye. She's as close as she can be to the car, and she's definitely already daydreaming about next time. They need to try some card games and the invisible ink, and she's sure they'd love her detective video games.

That night in bed, she's not thinking about next time or all the fun they had. No, she's thinking of pushes and little Joe's sad face and flights through the air and landings and skirts out of place.

As fun as today was, it wasn't perfect, and she wanted it to be. She wanted to be the perfect little hostess and prove to them she'd be an amazing friend. Instead, she was mean to Joe and slipped on the steps and couldn't keep her skirt down when she fell. Why did that have to happen?

This is not who she is. She's like her mother in all the stories she always hears. She's kind and caring and helpful—Hannah's right hand woman and her dad's favorite girl. She's confident and brave, the kind of girl who doesn't fall.

But today she wasn't. She fell and pushed, and she's really not sure which one she's more upset about. She's sure Joe forgives her. Heck, he wasn't mad when he left, but she can't help feeling that she did him dirty. No matter what she does, Joe will always remember being pushed by Nancy Drew.

The fall's not much less embarrassing. She's her team's best softball player and scrambles around the bases like it's nothing. But Frank and Joe don't know that. They don't know she can do anything they can. That'd be hard to know when she trips on the steps of her own house. Of course it happens on the day she forgets to put the bike shorts under her dress.

But it's just one day she reminds herself like she always does. She can pick herself up and move on. She'll see Frank and Joe again and things will be better. She's not that Nancy Drew.


	2. Chapter 2

She pulls the fur coat tighter around herself as she steps out of the car. The New York City wind is cold in January, and she's just wearing a light dress underneath. She steps inside and scurries as fast as she can with her heels. She doesn't want to miss the main event.

She pauses when she reaches the doorway of a room crammed full of tables and brimming with noise. She breaths a sigh of relief when she realizes that the event hasn't started. She's not even late. She shouldn't have worried she tells herself as she makes her way to the Hardy table in the far left corner. She's Nancy; she's never late.

Approaching the table, she sees it's full of her favorite people—Laura Hardy, Aunt Gertrude, Callie, Fenton, Frank, and Joe. She scans the two open spots and chooses the one next to Joe. Her dad's going to want the one next to Fenton that's for sure. They all greet her warmly, and she feels right at home.

It feels like it's been forever since she's seen them, but that's not the truth. She spent the last almost twenty-four hours with them; it's just that it never feels like enough. They're part of her now—the family that isn't hers by blood but is real family just the same. She smooths her skirt and tightens the twists of hair pulled half up before taking her seat. She sighs in happiness—this is perfect.

Joe leans over to her and says something about her cleaning up well. He smirks, and she knows why—it's like the understatement of century considering what she looked like just five hours before. She feels her cheeks flush and shudders. Where's her confidence? There's nothing to be ashamed of. She takes a sip of her water, and her mind wanders to when it all started a little under twenty-four hours before.

Despite what she had hoped when she met them so many years before, the years hadn't meant many more shared cases for her and Frank and Joe. The hour between them feels like too much to span when they're all busy with their lives as normal high school students. Nancy does speech and debate and tennis, and the boys play all the sports. And they've got top grades too. They take on cases; they wouldn't call it living if they didn't. But the boys' keep them in Bayport, and Nancy's in River Heights.

It's a rare Thursday night when the boys ask her down to Bayport. A stalker is harassing a sweet old lady in town, and Frank's stuck on another case. Joe could handle it all himself except for the no stakeouts alone rule. (Joe isn't much of a rule follower, but he's gotten kidnapped one too many times to get away with breaking that one.) So he calls Nancy down and because she isn't too busy, she finds herself at his parents' house a little after five.

On the way over to the lady's house, Joe gives her a briefing on all the details. They've found cameras inside, and sweet Grandma Layne has seen a man peeping in her windows. She's seen him enough to recognize him, but they still have no clue who he is. Their mission is to get pictures and perhaps to follow him home. Nancy nods her agreement. It sounds like the perfect plan.

They tiptoe out to the corner of the yard and hide behind some shrubs by the fence as they wait for the suspect to make an apprearance. Just when they're wondering why he hasn't come, they hear a noise, and a fight breaks out. They pull every move they have, yet still it's all not enough she realizes just before all fades to black.

When they wake up, they're not sure if it's hours later; all they know is they've been put somewhere dark and cold. Duck tape binds their arms and legs, and if they want to move, they have to roll. The floor beneath their bodies is dirt; rolling to the edge reveals a concrete wall. They're in a crawlspace now, they decide, and Nancy feels better to know the sun's shining just above their heads.

When Joe suggests sleep, she's thinking about it too. They need rest when there's no food to eat to keep them going. Besides, it's freezing cold, and sleeping side by side will keep their bodies warm.

Nancy's been kidnapped many times before, but this time feels different somehow. She's never been kidnapped with Joe or Frank before. It's comforting, she finds, to have someone else there, especially someone who knows what to do. Joe's not afraid or if he is you'd never know. He just scoots closer muttering something about lots of ideas for morning. She agrees; she has them too.

She pulls herself up to him and finds herself feeling a just little weird. He's like her best friend—has been forever, ever since they were little tiny kids. But this is new. They've never had sleepovers if you want to call this that. They haven't drawn strength from each other, felt the other's determination so strongly they didn't need to use words to express it. This is closeness like Nancy has never known with Frank and Joe before. She's drifting off into a dreamless sleep when she hears him whisper how he's glad she's with him. She nods; she's grateful too.

They wake up unsure if it's morning or not because the place is just as dark as before. But the kidnappers are likely gone by now. It's as good as time as any to stage their escape.

She moves, and Joe tugs at her the tape on her arms with his teeth. It feels so much like tickling she has to hold in a laugh. He doesn't complain that his teeth are hurting although she's quite sure they are. All that matters is that she can move her arms when all his work is through.

She returns the favor and unwraps his arms, and they both loosen the bonds at their ankles. Just like that they're free. They search for the door to their prison cell. When they find it, they lift it off together. Joe climbs out, and then Nancy does. They tiptoe and go out the back door. Crossing the yard, they scale the fence and go around that house to the front. They find their way out of the neighborhood, and Joe recognizes where they are as the edge of Bayport. They run until they're several blocks away and finally stop catch their breath.

They may not be far from home, but it's way too far to walk. Their stakeout track phones were stolen, so hitch hiking is the best way to go. Joe signals at the nearest car, and Nancy glances down at herself with shame. Under her gloves, her nails are chipped, and her jeans are coated with dirt. She can't see her face, but if Joe's is any indication, it's inhumanly dirty. No, she's not ashamed of what she does. She's proud to be brave enough to do something daring to make the world a better place. But she doesn't like looking like a wreck doing it. Usually, she's the female version of James Bond with classy clothing and hair perfectly in place. When something goes wrong, she just goes home to shower and change. She doesn't stand on a street corner in plain sight waiting to be picked up.

The third car stops. It's Chet Morton and his sister Iola. Nancy knows she should be thankful for the ride, but instead she wants to disappear under a rug. She knows Joe's girlfriend and her brother, and she doesn't want them to see her like this. Heck, she doesn't want Joe to see her like this. It's too late because they already have. "Where's your courage?" she chides herself fixing her messy ponytail. Soon, she'll be back at the Hardy house, and she can fix all this mess.

She doesn't mind the hands-on cases. She likes action, and something that takes her away from her desk. She can last hours in a dirty basement, and her surroundings are always the last thing on her mind. But this just isn't what she likes, facing people she knows with dirt smeared across her face. She's just not that Nancy Drew.

She's so much more than this. She puts an action to the thought and sits up straighter in her seat. She's Hannah's helper and in her words a lovely young woman. She takes hard classes and still gets good grades. She's a burgeoning little researcher, so good with legal cases that Frank frequently calls her for advice. And she's Ned's favorite girl-the one he trusts with his whole heart and wants to be with every afternoon.

This is just bad luck-Joe's bad luck. He gets kidnapped so much his parents don't even worry that much. Stuck with him, what could she expect? It's not like this with Frank. No, with him she's a freaking queen, one half of a brainiac duo. If she had taken his case, she would be just dealing with tired eyes from looking at too many PDFs.

The program starts breaking her reverie. It's time to put it all behind her. It all over now, and she's at the banquet with the people she loves best. She belongs here and looks the part. It's time to move on because she's not that Nancy Drew.


	3. Chapter 3

She hangs up her coat on the hook behind the door, takes off her shoes, and sighs. It's six pm on Sunday night, and she hasn't been home all weekend. It's time to change into her comfies and see if there's something good that she can watch until bedtime. (She'd rather not think about homework right now.)

She's on the couch in her yoga pants and an old t-shirt with a snack and open laptop by her side when she hears a knock at the door. She's not sure who it'd be considering she lives off campus and has no roommates, and it's a busy time of year.

When she opens it, she sees Joe Hardy. His stance is determined not casual, and he has a messenger bag over his shoulder. It all says one thing—a case.

Nancy has seen less of Joe and Frank since the three of them started college. Frank might be just across campus, but their paths rarely cross. Between cases and study, their lives are just so busy. Joe's a few hours from Bayport and rarely comes into town.

But even distance and busyness can't keep them apart; their connection is much too strong. They have too much history—too many years of being the only ones who understood their unique lifestyle. They can't, won't let that all slip away, so they text each other often filling their private group chat with jokes, case questions, and daily happenings. Nancy is still surprised to see Joe. His school is a couple hours away, and even with his chill attitude about grades, he still rarely has time to come this way.

He pulls her into a bear hug, and she smiles in spite of herself. She's not one for hugs, but Joe's have always been in a class of their own. His warmth and enthusiasm spill over and touch her whenever she's in his presence, and getting pulled into a Joe-hug, well, that just means being enveloped by it. She takes it in with a grateful smile. She can't be with him without being inspired by his attitude. Some might call it recklessness, but she knows it's just deep appreciation for each moment and readiness to accept what it brings. She wishes she could be a little more like that.

She lets go and invites him in. He takes a seat on the couch, and she settles down on the cushion next to him. He pulls his laptop from his bag only for her to realize that everything is a mess. Unless she clears a spot on the coffee table, his laptop is not even going to fit. The rest of the room is just as bad. Her almost-all-nighter Thursday night made her desk look like the war-zone of the ultimate paper war. The kitchen area is if anything worse—the trash overflowing and stinky, the counter stacked with dirty dishes, the appliances in bad need of cleaning. It looks like a messy person lives here, not a Nancy Drew.

Worst yet is what's not visible to the eye. She's been procrastinating on schoolwork.

Maybe she's been telling herself she's not behind, but the feeling of foreboding reminiscent of a runner on the edge of a treadmill says otherwise. Her fifteen page history paper is due Tuesday morning, but all she's done is read a few sources. She's just not feeling it yet. She gasps in surprise. She never imagined herself ever making that excuse. Her normal self would be so horrified at how dreadfully irresponsible she's been, but how can she help it?

She catches Joe saying her name and guesses from the look on his face that he has been trying to get her attention for awhile. She tries to act normal and disguise the worry bubbling up in her chest, but she knows he already knows something is up. When is Nancy Drew ever not interested in a case, and Joe Hardy is a freaking detective?

He's asking if she's okay, and she says yes although she doesn't dare look him in the face. He knows her too well to not read her every emotion from her face. Of course she's fine, the messy apartment—that's called being away for the weekend. Everyone gets behind on homework sometimes especially people named Joe Hardy. It's a fluke; he's caught her at a bad time.

He nods looking perhaps not thoroughly convinced, but the fact that he knows her means that he knows that she's independent and fiercely private. Caring about her means giving her space and time to find a way of explaining what's in her heart. He couldn't be more different, but years of friendship have taught him to appreciate Nancy's quiet strength.

He puts his arm around the back of the couch and begins into the details of the case. Nancy finds her mind wandering, and her heart skips a beat. She never spaces out during a case briefing. But somehow she can't help herself. There's too much to process; her heart and mind are back in River Heights with Ned.

It was one of those rare weekends when they were both home at the same time, and that had made it feel like heaven on earth. Ned was happy; senior year is treating him well. Not only is he excelling in his classes, but he had also heard that the firm where he interned wants to take him on after graduation. Nancy wants to be happy for him, but she can't be—not when the firm is in Boston and her whole life is in New York. Ned's eyes had twinkled, and she had known he was daydreaming about asking her to join him there. Nancy loves him, but she already knows she can't do that.

Since then, Nancy has been telling herself it will all work out. It always has. Maybe she's not actually reading his mind, and he won't ask. But regardless of what she's telling herself, she's still worrying. What if she has to say goodbye to everything they've been building together for so long? Would she be okay alone? She's not sure, and that thought terrifies her.

She's sure she's missing details of the case, but she can't help it. It doesn't matter that Joe and the case deserve more. Her mind's just hung up on all the proofs that she and her life are a freaking mess. Her surging thoughts feel like a river ready to overflow its banks, and in her head she's already stopped Joe three times to tell him everything. She knows he would understand. He's wonderfully empathetic and the one who has always taken flack for being a mess.

But she's not that Nancy Drew. She puts on her big girl pants and wades through whatever junk she's dealing with. She doesn't blab to the guy who she has always given advice to-the one who's the closest thing to a little brother she has ever had. Besides, everything will be better in the morning. It always is. She'll clean up the apartment and buzz through the paper like she always does. The stuff with Ned will blow over. Tomorrow everything will be fine. She smiles and nods at whatever Joe's saying, and he smiles back. She's not that Nancy Drew.

She manages to catch the end of the briefing, and a few pointed questions give her an overview of the case. She can see that Joe's request for legal advice is valid; her insight into lawsuits is just what he needs to wade through the client's motives. She offers him some chips and salsa, but he can't stay; he's got to drive back to his campus tonight.

She shuts the door behind him and flops on the couch. She can't believe that she almost told Joe Hardy all her deep dark secrets about being a mess. Maybe he would have empathized, but she can't have him know. He may only be ten months younger, and he may have always reminded her of it, but that's not how their relationship works. She's Frank's equal-the older, wiser one who's ready with advice on how to be successful, how to live a balanced detective's life. He's the baby on the team who has always looked at her like he believes she could do anything. Sure, it helps that he doesn't have to smell her stinky feet or hear her snoring at 3:00 am like he does Frank's. But still, his faith in her is not nothing. It reminds her of everything that there is to love about herself and ultimately that she's not that Nancy Drew.


	4. Chapter 4

They're sprawled in the small office kitchen enjoying the last of some doughnuts Joe picked up in the morning. It's dark except for the light above, but the moment feels light and memorable. It's all Frank's doing. They didn't used to be ones for laughing in the office kitchen at 7:00 pm, but Frank's finally getting his work-life balance right, and it's helping them all.

Ever since he married Callie, Frank has been going home earlier and insisting on more breaks. Nancy and Joe would call it slacking except Frank does just as much work as before. He's just aware that without breaks, without time with Callie he'll never be able to truly recharge. Joe and Nancy don't have anyone waiting for them at home, but they still follow his example and find it makes their lives brighter and easier.

Nancy laughs at Frank's joke about how he's Callie's doughnut because he always snitches dough when he shouldn't and thinks about how much this feels like arriving. This is where she's always wanted to be. She's a detective, working with Frank and Joe at a firm of their own. They have a steady stream of clients, and she has enough confidence to have no doubts she's making a splash. It's everything she ever wanted, and it's even real.

Joe breaks the comfortable silence after Frank's joke with something about the Shelton case. Nancy feels her heart sink. She doesn't want to talk about the one thing that can shake her confidence. She contemplates slipping off the counter and out of the room just to avoid it all, but that feels obvious. She can't have Frank and Joe know how much it still bothers her. They need to see her as strong and invincible. She ignores the words she's hearing around her, but her mind can only think about one thing.

The firm was brand new then, so new in fact all their cases had been calls from River Heights and Bayport—missing objects and stalkers and smuggling. It was what they had always had before, but now it wasn't enough. They hadn't moved to the big city, gotten decrees beyond their names to take on child's play cases. No, they were ready to get their hands dirty with the hard stuff.

They had thought Fenton Hardy's reputation with the NYPD would proceed them and bring them business, but months had passed without one important case. They were all so excited when Charlie Shelton called them to ask them to look for his missing granddaughter. Right after Frank hung up, they had taken their water bottles and toasted to the case vowing to solve it together.

On paper, it looked like the classic custody battle kidnapping. Ian Shelton and Adelina Perez had been arguing over the custody agreement since it had been signed and weren't reportedly on the best of terms. Reviewing the facts of the case, Nancy and Frank and Joe had found that it was much more complicated than it looked. Monique had disappeared from the guest bedroom of her grandparents' thirty-second floor penthouse on a Saturday night. She was supposed to be with Ian, but away on business trip, he had left her with his parents. Ian's business trip story cleared which made Adelina look more suspicious except she was due to get Monique Sunday afternoon.

Adelina had been the subject of Nancy's suspicions. The socialite struck Nancy as both petty and powerful and seemed to still harbor resentment against Ian. By kidnapping Monique, she could gain sole physical custody and perhaps first place in her daughter's heart. She had many relatives in the city which meant plenty places for Monique to hide.

Joe, however, had his doubts about Ian. Maybe his job kept him busy, but he still clearly valued time with his daughter. The word on the street was that he hadn't forgiven Adelina for getting more custody. If he kidnapped Monique, he could have her all the time. The business trip was perfect alibi, and maybe his parents abetted the kidnapping only to ask for help when they discovered they didn't know where she was.

The police hadn't found anything when they searched the scene, and Joe and Nancy and Frank's search turned up nothing as well. Frank just got the measurements he needed for his calculations about how the girl got taken from the room. While Frank did his calculations, Joe and Nancy argued. They both trusted their intuition with the confidence established by seeing it lead them to success on many a case. This time, however, they couldn't both be right. If Adelina had kidnapped Monique, then Ian was innocent, and the reverse was also true. If they hadn't made the stupid vow to solve the case together in the beginning, they would have gone their separate ways in search of clues. But no, they were bent on doing everything together, and they just could not agree. They argued so much that Frank locked himself in his office just to get away muttering something about how all this talk about the case was bound to lead to answers.

Fed up, Nancy had eventually ignored the promise and gone to Adelina's place to look for clues. She was in the ginormous master walk-in closet when she heard footsteps and hid herself among the dresses. Her curiosity, however, got the better of her, and she stepped forward only to trip on a misplaced shoe and fall to the ground. She might have escaped detection except she sneezed. In an instant, a man stood before her-Adelina's brother Michael. The look on his face told her he was up to no good. She did her best to ward off his attacks, but huddled on the floor she was at a disadvantage. Moments later, she found herself tied to a kitchen chair with bungee chords.

Normally, Nancy's courage knows no bounds, but she felt her heart cower in fear when he ran his hand down her front, touched her face with his lips, and said he would return. But the minute the door slammed behind him, she felt her determination rise. She would not allow herself to be beaten-she would make her escape and save Monique from this monster of a man. Lucky for her, he had done a sloppy job of tying the chords, and she was an expert at unloosing bonds.

The case wrapped quickly after that. Frank and Joe agreed with her about Michael, and they managed to track him down and find Monique who fortunately was unharmed. The case brought them money and fame, and a long string of cases that continued up to the present day. But for all the good the case had brought, it had also left damage in its wake. Nancy's run-in with Michael had given her nightmares that had required her to seek professional help, and her relationship with Joe had been on shaky ground for quite some time. Perhaps if she hadn't had to testify in court about what Michael had said and done to her, things would have been better, but the next time she saw Joe, he had guilt in his eyes. It wasn't fair when Michael had had a gun and Joe would have been helplessly strapped to the next chair over had he been there, but it still made the otherwise minuscule arguments harder to get past.

Things are better now. Nancy is stable again, and she and Joe have never been on better terms, but thinking about the Shelton case still gives her chills. It caused her so much pain, and thinking it over since then she has been unable to find something she could have done differently, a way that it all could have been avoided. But it was the same stubbornness that doesn't let her rest until she solves a case that made her argue with Joe and go to Adelina's place alone. The curiosity which caused her to venture out of the closet is what makes cases thrilling to her. Her clumsiness hadn't had to come out that day, but she is human and perfection should scarcely be expected. No, she couldn't have done anything different, and that's what's been bothering her all this time. She is that Nancy Drew.

She has always tried to distance herself from the traits and actions she doesn't like, but there is only one Nancy Drew. She is clumsy as well as athletic, organized as well as irresponsible, stubborn as well as kindhearted, careful as well as reckless. Avoiding the Shelton case can't change reality. She is who she is. She is this Nancy Drew and that one too.

Suddenly, she wonders why she has always run from that. Sure, she's less than what she'd consider ideal, but without the package, she wouldn't be who she is. The things she has loved to hate are pieces of a puzzle without which there wouldn't be any Nancy Drew. She's glad there is. Sure, she's got flaws too, but don't they give her a trajectory? Without them, she wouldn't know where to go and what to become.

She hears a loud thud made by nothing short of Joe Hardy leaping onto the counter beside her. His arm swings around her and pulls her close, and she knows it's his way of telling her he's sorry he brought it up. Joe may not always be the quickest on the draw in matters of this sort, but he's kind and caring and quick to ask for forgiveness.

He asks her if she's fine, and this time she doesn't have to avoid his gaze. She says she's fine, and she is telling the truth. She is fine—more fine than she's been in a long time, perhaps ever. She smiles, and his face lights up. Her heart soars. She's the one and only Nancy Drew, and she wouldn't want to ever be anything else.


	5. Chapter 5

They're sitting side by side on a flight to DC in route to meet a client for their latest case. Joe's arm is resting on the armrest with hers just above it and her fingers intertwined with his. If Nancy has learned anything the past six months, it's that it's impossible for Joe Hardy to be in the same room as her without touching her. Frank might complain about the constant PDA, but Joe literally can't help it. He's not always good with words—his body can say things he doesn't know how to explain. Besides, he recharges off physical affection like introverts do alone time, so Nancy has come to see him as an extension of herself that only periodically detaches to go off on its own.

They would be talking right now except they're on a commercial flight and discussing this case (or any of the others they're working on right now) would be extremely unprofessional. That can't stop her from thinking about them though. Cases are addicting, and Nancy couldn't stop working on them even if she tried.

She supposes Joe is thinking about cases too until he interrupts her thoughts with a question about Saturday. She frowns. Last Saturday was definitely not her favorite day. Joe had convinced her to not go into the office so she could join Laura and Callie for a girls' day. Don't get her wrong, she loves them both. Callie is a sweetheart, and apart from Hannah, Laura is the closest thing to a mother she has ever had. But she hates missing work especially to sit in coffee shops, try on clothes, or window shop. She'd much rather be out sleuthing with the boys.

She's not sure what he's expecting when he asks the question. She's not going to gush about what everyone was wearing or the food they ate or the news they shared. Maybe that's what he's used to, but she's not Iola or Vanessa. She's Nancy Drew, and what he's going to get from her is lingering frustration about having to go and miss work.

There's a reason Bess and George and Callie are the only girls Nancy has ever been very close to. Put simply, she is not and has never been a girly girl. She has never liked tea parties or girls' days or sleepovers. She doesn't enjoy talking about the latest fashion, babies, or relationship drama. There was a time when she forced herself to do girly things hoping that if she did them enough she would come to love them like Hannah did. She learned everything Hannah taught her and became the perfect little hostess, but that couldn't make her love it.

In recent years, she has made her peace with that. She doesn't have to be everything—live up to every expectation that she or anyone else can dream up. No, she's just going to be the best Nancy Drew she can be. If that means dreading girls' days and avoiding as many of them as she can, so be it.

That doesn't mean she broadcasts it though—not at all. It's one of those things she saves for those nights when she can't sleep because she's suffering from poor self-esteem. She doesn't talk about her disappointments, the ways she doesn't live up to the grand expectations she used to have for herself. She keeps them close to her chest hidden from prying eyes.

Joe doesn't pry. He asks questions, sometimes ones that are too personal for her comfort, but he doesn't pry. He knows that she's like a turtle who's best coaxed out of her shell by silence. Even since they've started dating, he's given her time and space to figure out how she wants this to all go down. She trusts Joe, she really does. He's proven himself time and time again, and she has decided she is going to trust him. But being open with him—that's another story.

Maybe it's a weird side effect of growing up without a mother, but Nancy has always preferred to figure things out herself. She might look to her dad for advice about puzzling life issues and to Hannah for guidance about how to be an amazing woman, but she has always kept a lot to herself. Even during her nearly decade long relationship with Ned, she kept him at a comfortable distance sharing her victories and joys but keeping the more unpleasant things to herself. Perhaps because of how she presented it, Ned never questioned it at least out loud. Joe hasn't either although she's often felt like he's waiting outside her metaphorical door.

Still, she finds herself wondering if it wouldn't be that bad to tell him about it after all. The flight is getting boring, and her mind has hit a dead end on all the cases. Besides, she knows Joe would like to hear it, and who knows if she won't just laugh instead of feeling embarrassed?

She opens her mouth, and it all comes tumbling out faster than she would have expected. She tells him she's sorry that she doesn't like girls' days, but she doesn't and she didn't want to tell him because she didn't want him to think that she was ungrateful and that she didn't like his mom and sister-in-law and that the day didn't go that great because she's awkward and she couldn't stop thinking about the cases and how much she wanted to be with him. She's suddenly terrified for how he's going to respond, but he just presses a quick kiss to her hair. She breathes a sigh of relief. He's just so kind—way kinder than she deserves.

He pulls away and looks at her, and the first word out of his mouth is "Nance" the name he's been calling her ever since they were little kids. Even though he's tremendously affectionate, she has never known how much he loves her until that moment. The expression on his face is so gentle as he tells her that it's okay. He knows she doesn't like girly things, but he wanted her to feel like she belongs with his mom and Callie. She's a Hardy girl even if she doesn't have the name yet (or decides not to take it). He'll think twice before asking her to do that in the future. Yes, he thinks they understand, and he's confident they don't hate her.

With his words, a weight lifts off her chest. She has always tried so hard to put her best foot forward, to be worthy of the faith that he and everyone else have in her. She's squashed down so-called imperfections, kept embarrassing stories to herself, hoping that could somehow make her the perfect Nancy Drew. But she's gotten it all wrong. She doesn't have to be anything special to be worthy of their love and faith. No, she is loved because she's her because of the things she loves in herself, the things she hates—because of the package that she is.

She's always thought Joe admired her because he thinks she's perfect, and maybe he thinks she is. But that's just because he loves her not because he doesn't know about the things she thinks are flaws. No, he knows that she's a linguistic genius but still struggles to form an English sentence when her brain is expecting to speak Arabic. He has noticed her knock things off tables with her messenger bag because she's too busy thinking about a case—not once but twice in a row. He sees her holding back from small talk and steps in because he knows she doesn't love it and he does.

Things with Joe have always been a little messy. She can't remember a time when she didn't appreciate him, but they didn't instantly click like she and Frank did. Frank had this way of making her feel like she is a queen, while Joe with his haphazard, carefree ways somehow brought out the same qualities in her. With that came actions—mistakes—that she found impossible to avoid and instead resorted to hiding. That just became all the more urgent the year he turned fourteen, and everything changed. His eyes started to sparkle whenever she looked at him, and more than ever he found a way to turn everything into a joke. She was quick to chalk it up to the simple explanation of rapidly growing admiration and soon became hopelessly addicted to it. Knowing that Joe who had known her so long and knew her so well thought the world of her was such an empowering feeling that she found herself working overtime to prove that she really was who he believed her to be. And that didn't change years later when they finally got their feelings figured out. No, Nancy has still been trying to keep up the image of the Nancy Drew that Joe believes in.

She shakes her head. How silly could she be to think that she could hide anything from Joe—the gifted detective, the one person in the world who knows her best. The truth is that he knows or rather has long been aware that she doesn't live up to her ideal, and he loves her anyway. He doesn't care if she's clumsy or awkward or too reserved. In his mind, there's only one Nancy Drew—the one he loves.

"I love you," she leans over to whisper to him, and it means it so much, perhaps more than it ever has before. Her heart is open; she is loved, and she is only going to learn more of means to love herself and let herself be loved. Joe grabs her hand and gives it a squeeze. She sighs with contentment. She is that Nancy Drew—the one and only, loved by Joe, herself, and everyone else because she is that Nancy Drew.

* * *

 **Author's Note: I hope the Joe/Nancy surprise wasn't too much, and that you enjoyed this chapter regardless. I wrote this because I've been falling into the Joe/Nancy rabbit hole and also because I wanted to explore the theme of accepting your flaws and quirks. Thank you for all your kind words about my story. It means a lot! This is the end of this story, but I am planning a one shot about the story of how Nancy and Joe ended up together.**


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